I was the youngest in my Master of Science class. I studied with moms, dads, managers, executives. It was uncomfortable because 22-year-old me did not have the same composure and maturity as everyone else there. No wonder I was so unsettled. I developed a need to prove myself and outshine everyone else. Which I made sure I did in presentations. I had to show that I knew it all. But at what cost? - My mental health.
I realized one thing in this entire journey. True confidence comes from knowing who you are, taking small consistent efforts, and doing your best in whatever you are doing.
Fake confidence comes from pettily trying to outdo others who are on their own journey. That’s where the trap is. Many young people enmesh themselves too much in the journeys of others, that they forget to cultivate their own acres of diamonds.
It’s tough- the human tendency to focus on competing with others. But once you weed this out of your psyche and realize that your own acres of diamonds are with you, you are able to sit grounded in who you are. Despite what the world says.
I went through a process of psychological healing after I finished my MSc. Ironically, I learnt more from the process of studying than from the actually course subjects. The course content was easy compared to cultivating consistency, motivation, confidence in myself, and many other skills needed to perform at my best.
Something within me changed in that year. The woman in me became vocal.
I was still a girl when I did my Master of Science. In a competitive environment, I went up against 29–40 year olds and still outshining them. That is the lesson that the universe wanted me to learn. That when I stand alone as Keren. I am more powerful than any outside force. I believe everybody eventually learns this lesson one way or another. Especially women, who are programmed to tie their worth to others.
It is a deep lesson to learn, sometimes even painful. But once you learn it, you are free. In this life, it is just you, your will and the universe. Ask for something and it shall come. Dare to seek and what you seek shall find you. Of course there will be ups and downs, but at the end of the day, your acres of diamonds are always and will always be with you.
Take heart, and never lose hope. Fortune favors the bold.
Keren Obara 2023.